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Other recommended blogs: Amy, Calpernia, Claire, Gwen, Kara, Reise, W3bgrl-Auntie Solder.
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Saturday, 2003.11.01:
I finally saw some pics of me at the recent wedding banquet an I just gasped in horror. I still think I totally look like a guy. I mean there's just something about my face that doesn't work and I think it's the nose. Can't be sure, tho. Ugh. OK my mood just got shot to heck.
Sunday, 2003.11.02:
Went to a large discount shoe store and I mean large. Saw lots of stuff but didn't find anything I wanted. Also I have a new chant and it goes something like this:
I forbid myself to buy black shoes.I have way too many...
I forbid myself to buy black shoes.
I forbid myself to buy black shoes.
Also poked into a cosmetics store. My new fav (and fun!) line is Fira cosmetics. I mean, they have lip blam palettes that come in cellular phone shapes. Whoa. Sparkly colors and stuff too.
Despite those crappy pictures yesterday I was observing something in the mirror. It just seems like my hips are getting ever so slightly wider. I can't prove anything because every time I measure them the measurement is constant.
Funny tho, for kicks I put on an old baseball cap backwards like I used to use. I swear I look more like a girl than a guy. I think it's the eyebrows. Yup, probably the eyebrows. Amazing how that one little thing changes so much.
Monday, 2003.11.03:
I'm a fan of Ramune (RAH-moo-nay), a Japanese drink. So I was out in a market and found Ramunade. Cool!
Wednesday, 2003.11.05:
Got my 6-month supply of contacts! Yay! There are 1 pair of trial lenses that I put on. Took me a little while but got them on OK! Now begins the weaning-in schedule where I do like 2 hours the first day, 4 the 2nd, 6 the 3rd, etc. until I reach the maximum of 12 hours per day. I've been practicing with the sample lenses I got previously so I think I can do it. I think I can. I think I can...
Went shopping for a bit. My fav stores now? Express, J.Crew, and GAP. One word for you, though: cashmere. I love this stuff! I keep debating getting it but I'm having a very hard time justifying $90 for a simple sweater. The Banana Republic hoodie is $118 I think---but I can't see why anyone would want a hoodie made of cashmere. And you know what else I think is wrong? GAP carrying cashmere. I have always associated GAP with decent quality at moderate prices targetted towards middle class families. To me cashmere is that sort of upper-middle class (and above) material and doesn't fit into the everyman GAP image. I dunno.
Also wrote the IRS to see if Flexible Spending Accounts can be applied to SRS.
Friday, 2003.11.07:
Had to reinstall my friggin' work laptop again. It's totally wiped clean with a new image. Geez.
Today was Sarah's birthday party even though her date has already passed. We went to a American diner and had good food. We then went and did that Extreme Bowling. I miss bowling. And then we capped the evening off with a little dessert. It took us a while to finally locate a place that was open for dessert but Krispy Kreme is open real late.
My new thing to carry with me: a lip gloss palette labelled Heaven Lip Color.
Started reading up on nose jobs. Some ppl recommend this guy in Chicago. I dunno. I need someone with Asian nose experience.
Saw BT's video of Somnambulist. Nice music but the guy cannot dance. Actually sorta looks like he's trying to tread water...
Saturday, 2003.11.08:
Yay, I get to dress up for another wedding. This time it was Fred's turn. (He's been mostly absent from everyone's lives since he got engaged a couple years back.) He looked pretty good and his bride was radiant. They had their wedding in a historic church and it was bilingual English and Cantonese. They had a reception banquet later that carried on into the night. It's funny that an entire day was consumed by the wedding and related ceremonies...
In between it all we ended up at a new Best Buy. I found an old Journey album. I should have gotten the 3-pack.
After the wedding we had time to kill. Steve, Kristina, and I watched the Jackie Chan version of City Hunter. Hehehe... It's a fun movie but just don't expect a lot from it.
Sunday, 2003.11.09:
While searching for rhinoplasy information I came across the strangest link: www.pinocchia.com. Apparently it's for those who like long noses. I think one of the slogans on the site banner says it all: "Where women and broomhandles have a lot in common." Um...yeah.
Wednesday, 2003.11.12:
Went guitar amp shopping with a friend. I really need an amp for my electric. We saw a couple of ones: a Crate solid state and a Fender tube. I'm strongly thinking about the tube...it's $350 tho! All I need now is a teacher.
Friday, 2003.11.14:
Went out for a few drinks with Steve and his other girls---colleages from work. That was probably the best Red Bull and vodka I've had yet. One of our members' boyfriends showed up and whisked her away about half an hour later. But Steve and Tina were still hungry so we got a table and had some good Singaporean food. The coconut rice isn't as good as Kyle's but it was still good.
Saturday, 2003.11.15:
Lunch with Jacky. She has been cool with the whole transition bit but I sense there's still a few questions in her mind wondering why I've done what I've done. Oh well. We had lunch at a brew house and walked the mall adjacent. I think I could get along with her better if I spent more time with her, but we've never really been that close.
Later went to one of the shops I visited on Wednesday and got the other amp. ("Other" because it turns out my colleague had decided to buy the amp I wanted on Thursday without my knowledge. Oh well, so I went with my #2 choice.) I got help lugging this 50 lbs. thing into my car. In the process I was casually talking to the sales guy and he says he gives guitar lessons. I said I'd strongly consider it but it would have to wait a few weeks because I'm going to be travelling and stuff. He said "OK" and I got his contact info. So I may have a private instructor I can use soon! And he's kinda cute too...
Sunday, 2003.11.16:
Celebrated another birthday with my "old" set of friends---you know the ones that I went to college with? It was a nice Italian dinner. (Gee, think I like Italian?) Even though I don't see these guys all that much anymore it's nice to get back together.
Monday, 2003.11.17:
Met up with another friend for dinner. And guess what food nationality we had for dinner? You guess it: Italian. Hehehe...! We just did silly girl talk about relationships and stuff. Actually, she was the second person to rant to me today. I guess I'm a good person for people to unload their stresses on.
But it was cool nonetheless.
I had some San Martin Chardonnay (I think) and she had the house
pinot grigio. I liked mine better---more berries. Mmmmm...
She also recommended a winery to visit the next time I'm up in Wine Country.
Actually, there's like 4 wineries in that area I want to visit.
I guess I'll have to travel to there soon...Turns out as well that she's learning the electric guitar. So that's cool. Maybe one of these days we'll play together or something.
Instead of a New Word of the Day, go read The Urban Dictionary.
Tuesday, 2003.11.18:
Holy moly. I have possibly two other patents being issued for work I did several years ago at my company. Gawrsh, I had no idea. The attorneys just blindsided me with that communication this afternoon. Whoa. My ideas are nowhere being original but I guess they fall under that "new or nonobvious" clause. I just wish I could come up with something uniquely original that would make a real cool patent to hang on a wall somewhere.
I'm still at odds with my Dad. I don't know what to do with him. We're at that standstill where he believes what he believes and won't let me even enter in my side of the story. Ugh. This is mucho sucky.
Watched The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. OMG. Funny! Then I watched that really depressing episode of Law & Order: SVU. You should watch this if you get the chance.
Ended up getting a hug and a peck on a cheek from this guy that's apparently enamored with me. Argh. I don't know how to tell him to back down w/out hurting him because he is part of our circle of friends...
Wednesday, 2003.11.19:
Got my hair all styled up at the usual place. It was about time to cut away the shag that I've been wearing for the past 4 months. We decided to experiment with a little coloring this time so we put some streaks in real subtlely. Turns out the streaks are not very noticeable except in sunlight which is just fine, but I may go for a little lighter next time. I figure that I should try it before streaks go out of fashion. Heh.
I'm also working out my layers. I have found that I like my hair best without layers because it means my hair dries totally straight instead of turning into a puff ball. So I got a few bits removed and the hair lays down a little better. Yay. I think I'm also going to go back to long hair, but I know that'll take like 8 or so months to grow out. Good thing my hair grows fairly quickly. You know, though, I don't know how I can ever go back to short hair. I even thing chin length is short now!
Saturday, 2003.11.22:
Went shopping for people's X-mas gifts today. Found a couple of things but more things for myself.
I remembered that I needed to buy a new dresser unit. You have no idea how surprised I was last week when I literally ripped the front dresser drawer off. Seriously, it was a shoddy $40 unit from Walmart so my expectations weren't high to begin with. But to have the front face of the drawers detach in my hands?! No way!!! So now I need to find something more sturdy and that Swedish modern design should satisfy.
I went to one Ikea store and found what I wanted but they didn't have it in stock. So I went to another Ikea across the Bay and found a beechwood unit. I decided on going with two units instead of one so now I can put them on either side of my bed. They seem sturdy enough not to have their fronts rip off.
I assembled one of the units just before bed and boy are my hands ripped up! I swear! My skin is so soft now just working with all these matrials tore them up. My thumbs feel so raw, my nails are chipping, and there's abrasion marks everywhere on my hands. I'm so fragile now...
Tuesday, 2003.11.25:
Went to a unique post-Ramadan party tonight. Sampled a whole bunch of really cool foods and enjoyed the company of a group I've never met. Kyle's house was the place and we had about 12 people there. Some people couldn't take the spice and so they relegated themselves to a couple of sloppy dishes that were mild or chicken.
Wednesday, 2003.11.26:
Had a crappy Burger King lunch. I didn't know this, but they have veggie burgers on their menu now! Cool! (FYI: I'm not an all-out vegetarian but I'm trending towards avoiding meat when I can.)
Tomorrow I get to do Thanksgiving with my parents. I'm still at a standoff with my Dad and my Mom is clearly not comfy. It's not like things were rosy before but I think as long as I hadn't gone full-time my parents believed (and probably prayed) that it was a phase that would pass. Oops, it didn't. Like, I was on the phone with Mom a few nights back and she was asking if I go to work as a girl. "Of course! I've been doing this since summer. No, no one has any problems or at least they're decent about it." She was obviously taken aback by it. Oh well. I just hope that I can strengthen our relationships before next year otherwise SRS will come and go as well.
Went bowling a couple times recently and boy am I getting weaker. I used to throw 15s but these days 12 lbs. are about right for me. I'd rather use a 10-pounder but I can't get my fingers in the holes. (Darn large knuckles! Ugh!) It was cool tho that we went during the Extreme Bowling hours where they use only black lights and play pop music. Oh, and I also got in a little DDR---it's strange seeing a crowd forming around you when you're not all that good.
Life has been, in general, ho hum. I mean, it's good on so many levels. I don't think I regret the decision to go full-time. Rather I regret not having done it much sooner back when I was mid-20s. I could have done it then, but I would have had to know then what I know now. (I hate hindsight for that reason.) I know that had I done this years ago that I would have been OK and probably in better shape. But I wouldn't have gotten to know a whole bunch of other people like Jen and Sarah and Andrew. As I always say, plusses and minuses.
Thursday, 2003.11.27:
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (Or by the time you read this happy post-Thanksgiving.)
I went down to my parents place in Semi-Girl Mode. That sorta sucked. But despite wearing jeans and sneakers I made no effort to hide the rest of me when I was in the house. They're still using my old name and pronouns, but that would be overlookable if they were making an effort. It's more the case that they're hoping this is a phase and it will pass. I keep trying to say that if this is a phase it has been a lifelong phase and that I'm on track for more drastic changes in the future. I hope they remember that I want to talk to them about these things---they just seem to want to ignore it as if that will make things go away. How many times have I mentioned my Mom still doesn't believe everyone calls me Amber at work? Geez.
Anyways, Mom, Dad, and brother were there. We all started doing prep work after breakfast. At some point my Mom had to lie down to rest (because she's sick and I think the drugs she's on just sap her energy level) and I had to forcibly wake her up several times to get info out of her. As a result I ended up making quite a bit of the Thanksgiving dinner. The rest of the stuffing, smashed potatoes, and other things became my duties. I barely got a chance to sit down and take a breather. Dad showed me how he carves the turkey too so I've finally had some first-person experience with that.
At the end while we were having dessert one of my brother's friends came over. I just sort of hid and and pretended to be asleep under a blanket versus have to explain to this guy the situation concerning me.
After leaving my parent's place I went to go drop Steve off at the airport so he can start his vacation. (His plane left after midnight.) Kyle was in tow and we talked on the way back from it...
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Ah, but, about the site. I'm sure you're wanting to know more about this. I regret having taken it down so early but I really didn't think it would take this long. It was originally going to be a simple search and replace for various text, but I thought about it and I really wanted to change the style too. So I could bore you with all the schtuff about how cool some of this is now to manage but just know that it's becoming easier for me to assemble and manage all of this text behind the scenes. Once again, thanks for reading. Thanks for being patient.
Friday, 2003.11.28:
Note to readers: if you don't want to read about other people's vacations you might want to skip ahead to Dec 8.
Today was crazy. I didn't know if I really want to get up for the post-Thanksgiving Day shopping sprees, but I finally convinced myself it would be a good idea. After dropping Kyle off in the wee hours of the morning I headed out to a computer store to get in line for the deals. There weren't as many things that I wanted this year. They were selling a see-through computer case that I could have made use of but I don't know what I would have done with my current one---which I like, btw. I did find a new HDD and a couple of other small things. I was looking for stocking stuffers but really didn't find anything I wanted.
After that it was out to the main mall for stuff. I was looking for things for my brother and Dad mostly but didn't find anything. For Mom, though, I got a little Swarovski. She likes those things. I found a few other things at my usual targets but no real good deals.
I had spent so long shopping that I didn't have time to take the much-needed nap. So I just tidied up a little to prepare for guests. I had a friend arriving from out of town and today was the first day of her trip. So I had to drive all the way back to the airport to meet her.
It took a while because her flight was delayed but she finally arrived and there she was! We hugged and headed off to my little silver bullet, putting her bags in my trunk---err, I mean boot.
She was a bit hungry and doing pretty
well surviving jet lag it seemed. We chose pizza as our target food and
there was a mall on the way back home that sated that need. She'd never
experienced California Pizza Kitchen and so I made her try the duck pizza.
That was a hit.Finally back at home it was late and we were both pooped. Thank goodness my new aerobed inflates itself, so that made things easy. She got my bed and quickly passed out on it. I just eased myself on to my mattress and dozed off myself.
Saturday, 2003.11.29:
So my friend Brenda here tells me I use "eh" a lot in my speech. Yeah, I do. Probably because I used to idolize my Canadian cousins when I was growing up. Funny how that works, eh?
Brenda got up earlier than I (being on a different biological clock too) and didn't even ask me for a towel. Poor girl. I mean, I usually have towels out for ppl and make sure they have room to unload their toiletries but I was so tired the night previous that I forgot. So she used paper towels to try herself off. Oh my gosh. That sucked. But it gets better, she couldn't figure out how to turn on the hot water and so she took a cold shower. Argh! She really should have woken me up!
Well we finally got moving at some point. We chatted about my life and her boyfriend. This was the first time we had met in 3-D, having known each other for about 5 years online. And you know that when you meet people in reals there's always lots of stuff to talk about. We grabbed a light brunch and jumped on the road.
I took her up through a winding road down to the coastline, the same drive that I had done by myself a couple months ago. The weather was awesome. Wending our way north we finally reached the City and entered via my favorite 6th Street entrance. As you come off the free the exit ramp shoots skyward and then has a slow glide down but gives you a great view of the skyline and one of the main bridges.
The hotel was finally located and we checked in while dusk was rapidly turning into night. I actually missed the hotel and so I was parked about a block away, however some mistakes lead to opportunities. The sky was now that shade of indigo where you can still make out building shadows and yet all the lights are on. Brenda and I got out for a fabulous photo op. Then we got settled into our new temporary home. It struck me that the rooms were unbelievably small, then I remembered we were in a sort of vintage hotel where this was the normal room size at one point in time. The hotel was having a wine hour but we didn't want to do any of that before driving again. There were some girls in the elevator (probably under 20) and they were already drunk and trying to go back for more.
We went back to my car and headed down to the Metreon. It's a cool place and you should check it out if you're in town. We toodled around there for a bit but I wanted to take Brenda out to somewhere different. (The only reason we were there was to see if we could catch an IMAX movie, but all they had was Matrix Revolutions. Blech.) So we left w/out doing any sort of entertainment there. It's a short walk to Union Square anyways.
Union Square was so lit up. All the windows of Macy's provide a luminous backdrop and the square itself sports an amazing tree. It's just an awesome sight with the tree framed by the columns at the Square.
At the top of Macy's is an old fav: The Cheesecake Factory. That used to be our only one in this area for years. It's known for huge portions, a very extensive menu, awesome desserts, and unbelivable waiting times. Our wait for two wasn't bad at about 50 minutes. We actually got buzzed a little earlier than our 1.5 hour wait time. Anyways, we had our fill and Brenda totally overate. (She is not used to big portions.)
We finally got back to the Metreon where we got a chance to do a little DDR. There were these little kids (couldn't have been more than like 6 years old) doing it and they were not bad at all. Then the dad gets on the floor and he's actually doing a heavy course. Amazing. I hope I can move like that when I'm like 45+.
Rather than head back to the hotel immediately we took a severely long detour down to Route 49 which takes you above the City for an awesome vantage point...
Sunday, 2003.11.30:
We rolled out of bed nice and early. Since we planned to take transit we just left the car at the hotel and started walking. There was a McDonald's on the way so we ducked in for some breakfast. Brenda was amazed at how much stuff they gave you---I told her not to eat all of it if she couldn't finish but she managed to stuff it down. After refuelling we eventually ended up at a mall where I hoped we could buy umbrellas---Brenda forgot her raincoat. Too bad, most of the stores didn't open until noon. We did find a GAP that was open and some other touristy place. Both of us found umbrellas. Yay.
Deciding the weather was too foul we went back to the hotel and got our car. We zipped down to Pier 39 where we got tickets to Alcatraz and bummed around for a while. Then it was on to our next target.
Ghiradelli Square is a cool place although there isn't much to do there. We grabbed some peppermint bark chocolate squares and gulped down a sundae. Despite the fact it was chilly and wet outside it was a taste treat.
We scooted around down to an old favorite: Japantown. This 3 block enclosed center has quite a bit to offer. Brenda had never seen stuff like this---she was pretty interested in what anime was. I showed her a few stores and we had to get some warm taiyaki. It's a sort of fish-shaped snack with a pancake dough shell and sweet red bean paste inside. Mmm... (You might be getting the sense that all we did was walk and eat. That's only partially true---I was trying to make sure Brenda got a wide variety of food tastes but not a whole lot of quantity.) I found a Usagi Yojimbo calendar that I'll later use for my office.
We drove back through the middle of Chinatown through the Grant Street gate. Then we U-turned so she could get a view of the Transamerica Tower.
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Entries may show the mood for the day. From best to worst moods here's the list:
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Ecstatic -
Happy -
Good -
OK -
Blech -
Sad -
Abysmal
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