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Other recommended blogs: Amy, Calpernia, Claire, Gwen, Kara, Reise, W3bgrl-Auntie Solder.
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Sunday, 2004.05.02:
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"Are you from Beijing?"And there he was. The man in black. (Well, a black shirt at least.) Taller, not exactly out of shape for a late 30-something, and clearly not from Beijing. I looked back into his questionning eyes. Strike One.
"Um, no. I'm from here."Strike Two. In just under 10 seconds he was already trying my patience. Very very few people get on my nerves to the point where I'd like to scream. I took a sip of of my cosmo and my inner monologue started: What a dufus. He's obviously not my type and I'm not interested in him at all. I can either try to walk away right now. Or. I can use him as practice. Well, I figured the latter would be good.
"Well, are your parents from Beijing?"
So there we were making small talk and him trying to sound even the slightest bit witty. He had a rice fetish (e.g. guys who prefer Asians) evidenced by the other Asian girl he was trying to chat up who, at this point, was standing slightly behind him. I guess he'd been talking to her and when I had walked by he turned to face me. I had a feeling he had been tracking me for a bit because I saw him earlier at the bar. Anyways I let him down easy and we parted. A few minutes later I'd get harassed by a trio of jackasses, one wearing a wife-beater. Sheesh. My luck with guys. Mon dieu!
This was a kinda cool place that's part cafe, part bar, part club, and part art gallery. It'd kinda hard to describe but it definitely attracts an interesting crowd. There's this bar in the center of the layout which was just swarming with people. There's tables and lounge chairs off to one side, not to mention the outdoor seating. And the art gallery has all these rotating exhibits.
Claire and I headed out for a friendly game of pool where of course she trounced my ass. But, in my defense, I'm getting much better. My aim is a lot straighter, I am able to get the ball to generally go where I want it too, and my planning is better so I actually can put the cue ball where I want it.
And that was Friday.
Thursday Holden and I went back to trying out 3+ star restaurants and we ended up at this cajun place. Awesome food, great service, and nice atmostphere. Of course I could be swayed because we got the best seats in the house---this little corner unit that was all plushy with big pillows and soft lighting. This was also the first time I had crawfish. Oh. My. Goodness. They rock! Spicy, fishy, and just flowing with juice. They were the perfect appetizer. We split pork chops and jambalaya for the main course, and there was bread pudding for dessert. Yummers.
I'm still hurting from Saturday, though. In the morning Rick and I tackled the trails at this one park that was mostly uphill or downhill. I don't remember it being this hard but it was. We must have covered about 7 miles out there and it was harsh. I could feel hotspots forming on my feet and I knew that was a bad bad thing considering we're running the Bay to Breakers in a couple of weeks. But it was a really good workout! I have the aching muscles to prove it.
Because I'm a glutton for pain as well, later that evening we both went to this wedding reception for a couple of Indian friends and we danced for hours. Already sore from the run, of course I had to choose my white strappy Steve Madden sandals that have that part between the big toe and the next that just cut into your skin. Walking with those things is already a pain in the butt, but dancing? Really, I'm a glutton for pain. There's probably a permanent blister there now.
But it was all for the bride and groom. I absolutely love Indian wedding dresses. I mean, these saris are amazing lush fabrics with inlaid gold thread. And the handiwork on them is so intricate. The bride looked stunning in it.
The whole event was kinda interesting. Most weddings have DJs now. What I didn't expect is the DJ was playing mostly banghra dance mixes. And very loud too. And he sucked at cross-fading so at the end of the song the next one had a totally differnet tempo and there was often parts of silence where the song intros began. It was funny too because there lots of older Indian couples and grandmothers there who I don't think appreciate Punjabi MC's Mundian To Bach Ke as much as us younger ones do. Hehehe...
Which finally brings us around to today. Just a lazy day recuperating from these past few nights. I tried to sleep in but my body just wouldn't let me. I'm finally putting my desktop computer back together but I'm finding out how much data really was lost in the transition. (It's going to take forever to re-rip all my CDs back to MP3.) It makes me wonder how much I really want to be in computing. I got into it because of a hobby. Maybe my interest is finally waning.
Ended up seeing the new Tina Fey movie, Mean Girls. It was pretty entertaining. One thing it showcased were cliques. I think it's funny that I can't really remember cliques in high school. I think the main reason was because I wasn't part of one so I ignored that whole aspect.
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Small boobs suck. I used to say boobs were no big deal. But that was long ago. Now that I'm at this stage of my life, I wish I was a full A at least---I'm prolly a AA. HRT does a lot of things but apparently doesn't do much for my chest development. Ugh. As much as I pray to the Boob Fairy I don't think those prayers are going to be answered. I still say I'm going to give it a few years before I go artificial. So, bigger would be nice. Um, and smaller shoulders. And hips. And ... *sigh* Oh well, I guess what I have isn't bad; I just have higher goals.
Wednesday, 2004.05.05:
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Half of SRS is paid for. I called in to the doc's office to pay part of the fees to my credit card and everything seemed to go smoothly. Then I got the call back: the transaction was denied. Oops. I then called my card company to clear the block on the account---I guess it's not every day that someone charges multi-thousand dollar debt. But all is well and we're on-target for this summer.
Speaking of SRS, I had another session of genital electrolysis this morning. It was really tough even with a hefty coat of EMLA on the site. I loathe electro. All I ask of my operator is that when we zap, no matter how painful it is we don't stop or cut the voltage. No, I want those follicles dead. I don't want to have to retreat the area and I will endure the pain if we make progress. So far, so good.
Shopping sucks. I've been hunting for some new "fun" clothes for going out and stuff but it's hard, IMO, to find things that 1) I like, 2) are appropriate, and 3) hide anatomy well. I've been combing the malls for a couple days now for things. I have a backup "outfit" (if you can call it that) in mind, but I was looking for something more fun and flirty. Oh well. I still have tomorrow to hunt for it. The only problem, it's the Friends finale. Hm. Gotta find someone with Tivo.
An impromptu vacation opportunity came up earlier this week and I'm going to take it. Between my and my travel buddy we've never planned a vacation faster in recent memory. Tickets, hotel, transportation, entertainment. Yay. I'm hoping it'll be fun. See ya next week!
Friday, 2004.05.07:
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By the way, I apologize for not responding to any e-mail in probably 3 or more weeks. I've been running around a lot and I'm just about to fly out of town so it'll be even a few more days. Hehe... I'll tell more when I return.
Tuesday, 2004.05.11:
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'k. This is a Long One.
Where does one begin? It has been almost a week since anything was really written down and quite a lot has happened. But the interesting part of it occurred this weekend...
So a little over a week ago I found out that one of my friends was going to Las Vegas for a trade show and asked if I'd like to go along. I'm thinking: I like to travel, I'm cheap, and I can split the room half-cost, so what the hell? In a little less than an hour the two of us had figured out our travel arrangements---hotel, places we want to go, entertainment. This was indeed the fastest trip I've ever been part of planning.
Saturday morning rolls around and we're out of bed by like 5:45a. We've got a 7-something flight and we had to be at the airport at least an hour before. I crashed at his place the night previous to save time; we drove to the airport in my little car. I hate waking up that early but thank goodness the Starbucks in the airport opens up early too---what would I do without my grande soy chai latte?
We get into Vegas around 9:00a, nice and early. So by the time we get a shuttle to our hotel we're there way before our room is ready. We left our bags with the hotel and wondered: gee, what do we do? Of course it was tantalizing to just spend all of our money, but seeing how the point of a trip is to have fun (and not cry over lost gambling) we sought out to satisfy our primal desires. And by that we mean food.
The heat was already starting to climb that morning and so we ducked into the Flamingo as we walked out towards the Strip---our hotel wasn't exactly on it. Appearing out on Las Vegas Blvd, we turned south past Bally's, the Paris, and over to the Aladdin. I love the atmosphere of the Aladdin! Anyways, we wended our way through that maze and found our first goal: the Spice Market Buffet.
I guess they do champagne brunches for both Saturday and Sunday because, well, that's what we did. It was expensive to say the least, but oh-so-yummy. We're talking about the plethora of the world's ethnic cuisines all right there for you. He and I stuffed ourselves all the while sipping mimosas and other mixed drinks. I figued that if I was going to get sloshed that this would be a better opportunity---we weren't driving and public transport always put us minutes from our hotel. Besides, in Vegas being inebriated is encouraged!
After the eternity of eating the skewered chicken, shrimp, aged salmon, eclairs, etc., we wobbled upstairs to the casino and wondered what we could do to kill time. I needed to go shopping for my Mother's Day gift and my friend was bored. (Yes, I know I'm a bad girl for missing Mom's Day, but [to make a long story short] it wouldn't have worked out with the timing for neither me nor my parents.) So Caesar's Palace and mall were right across the way.
He went and gambled while I wandered the mall there. It's depressing to know that all the stores in that mall were ones I could find in malls local here. There wasn't anything unique at all. So, I didn't find a Mommy Day gift; I did find a Barenaked Ladies CD for $10 though.
We went back to our hotel now (since it was early afternoon) and as we stepped into our room we noticed there was a funny smell in the air and our feet were wet. Ack! They had been shampooing the carpets! So we trudge back downstairs to get a change of room and find that even the room we got anew was sort of just-cleaned as well. But, at least the carpets were mostly dry. I set to painting my nails and then we both crashed out for an afternoon nap, me laying against him.
When we awoke it must have been 7:00p or so. We made reservations for dinner and then we got ready to go. By the time we were out of there, though, I think it must have been closer to 8:00p---I'm not sure where the time went but we finally got out of our room. I was about to learn what an absolute pain in the butt it was to walk in 3" heels. (I do say that Aldo is a far cry more comfy than Steve Madden.)
We crossed through the bowels of Bally's to the Paris Hotel. We told the doorman we had reservations at the restaurant and up the elevator we went to the Eiffel Tower Restaurant. I had wanted to try this place just because it looked cool and when the doors of the elevator opened up and the kitchen was right before us I thought: ho...cool! I want one of these kitchens! Um, yeah. Actually, the one up at the CIA Greystone was really cool too.
Though our reservations were for 10:45p we were able to be seated much much earlier. The ambiance was pretty cool, though I would have liked to be near the window to watch the fountains of the Bellagio. We ate through our dinners while nursing the pinot gris in our glasses. Then dessert arrived in all of its glory: a souffle. I have to learn how to make this! Yummers. Overall the service was great, atmosphere very cool, food was pretty good, value for money was fair. I'd give it a 3 of 4 stars.
We took a cab down to the MGM for our next destination: Studio 54. I didn't really have an opinion on nightclubs and hadn't bothered to ask anyone---it just looked interesting. We must have gotten in line to get in around 11:30p. The wait was really stupid though. It wasn't until about 1:00a when we got inside. At least the place was packed.
I like dancing dammit. There's just something pleasing about being there with that seething mass of people all having a good time. Bodies meshing and writhing to the beat. Everyone forgetting about their normal lives for a few moments. The music carrying you up and down on an endless sonic wave.
Anyways, the music mix was OK but at least it was very danceable. (I did disagree with them playing D12's My Band---who in the heck thought that was a good idea?!) I also learned that short pleated skirts are really flexible---thank you Forever 21. So we were there until about 3:30a when he was PO'd that they changed to a house/hiphop mix and I was hurting from my shoes. (You should have seen the marks buried in my feet from the straps.) We cabbed home and zonked out bigtime. That was Saturday.
Sunday started with a yawn. I mean, we didn't get out of bed until 12-ish, so by the time we were out of our room it was close to 1-ish. I wanted to try the Bellagio buffet because I had heard good reviews about it from friends but the line to get in there was insane. So was the line into Olives. We didn't know where to go and somehow we wound back up at the Aladdin. This time, however, we found an Italian place in the back of the mall. And a cute waiter. But I guess that only mattered to me---my friend is a guy. And straight. And annoyed that I was looking at the waiter. But that's another story.
And what did we do after eating? My friend went to play the tables and I went to shop. I struck out again on the whole Mother's Day gift thing; I did remember to call my Mom and wish her a happy day though. When I got back to the tables I found out he had lost like $140 already and was all despondent about it. He said it was the fault of the blackjack tables. Nasty tables they are. Grr. I'm not even sure he got any drinks out of that time either.
We turned South from the Aladdin and went down to the M&Ms store at the Showcase Mall. That's a neato place---four floors of M&Ms, and in all the colors you can imagine. Plus, they have an Ethel M. Chocolates shop in it. Oh, dark chocolate heaven... We both picked up some souvenirs for our colleagues and a couple bars for ourselves.
It was funny, though, when we left the store we wanted to know how to get back to our hotel so we decided to ask the visitor information booth in the center of the mall. (The mall is like only a 1/4 block long. Really small.) We got this cocky guy who really didn't care about his job and was bored to tears. He asked:
InfoGuy: Are you staying here tonight?I lied because I didn't want to tell him the truth and I figured he was trying to sell us some show tickets.
Me: No, we're leaving tonight.I looked at my friend and back at the InfoGuy.
InfoGuy: Well, are you guys married?
Me: Uh, no ...?To which he pulls out a Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Guide. I was about to start laughing in his face. But rather than do that (and being the smart-ass that I am) I decided to humor him:
InfoGuy: Well, then, let me help you...
Me: Well, we're on a bit of tight schedule. Can they marry you in under half an hour?This bemused smile crept across his face.
InfoGuy: Hm. I'm sure they could do that.
Me: And, tell me, would you recommend getting drunk before or after you get married?
InfoGuy: Both.Anyways, we finally found out that we could catch the bus from right outside the mall and we hopped on that. When we got back to our hotel we crashed out again. Afternoon naps rock.
We awoke, showered, changed, and headed out once again. Our new destination: the Mandalay Bay. We picked up our tickets to the show and then had about an hour and a half to kill. Conveniently next to the theater was the House of Blues, and that became our dinner destination. The jambalaya there rocks too---but watch out for the habañero pepper in it! I like the atmosphere there better than the Hard Rock or Planet Hollywood cafés. We picked up a few souvenirs over at the HOB shop too before walking over to the show.
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That was definintely a fun show---even better because we had no one sitting in front of us! If you're not familiar with it basically it's a story about a girl and her long-lost father(s) coming together for her wedding. It's this haphazard romance/comedy all woven together around songs by ABBA. It was cute, creative, and the music was great. The only downsides are that it's kinda short (about 2 hours long) and the plot is really simplistic. But, like I said, it's fun and if you're looking for entertainment I recommend it! (Plus the lead guy was hot and totally cut, OMG.)
We finally found ourselves back at our hotel. I was still pretty energetic and so I grabbed my friend and we went out walking back to the Strip. Not really going in any direction in particular we stopped in front of a place with a big sign that said: Margaritaville.
There was a reggae band going on inside and so we danced and drank for a while. It was sort of a nice way to wind down the weekend as we wasted away those wee hours of the morning. This definitely was the fastest and most action-packed weekend trip either of us had probably taken in years. Happy, buzzed, and tired we retired to our room at our hotel a couple blocks away.
Monday morning started with a groan as I had to get out of bed at like 6:00a. He was still in bed because he had to stay for a convention; I was the one who got to leave by myself. My shuttle was set to arrive at 7:30a and I was supposed to be out there in front of the hotel by 7:20a. The stupid shuttle company didn't get their shuttle there until about 8:10a and because the shuttle driver had to make his rounds at other hotels I still didn't get to the airport until about 8:30a. Ugh. At least my hot soy chai latte was keeping me going.
The flight was hellish. And by that I mean, it started out OK but quickly devolved into chaos. When we first took off the pilot said they expected a smooth quick flight back home to the Bay Area. Yay. So about 20 minutes into the flight, just after the drinks had been served, I wandered back to the restroom and locked myself into privacy. Then the shaking started.
Pilot: It looks like we're encountering some turbulence and so we've turned on the faster-your-seatbelt sign. Please return to your seats if you're up and about the cabin.Nuts. So I finished up real quick, flushed, and was walking back to my seat. Then the plane fell out from under us all. Drinks went flying. Literally. I was grabbing on tight to one seatback and trying to steady myself against one wall of the back cabin. I saw an open seat a couple rows up from the bathroom and so I literally dove into it, yanked the buckle out from the chair, and zip-locked myself down tight. Really tight. I wedged my toes under the seat in front of me and pushed myself down far into the seat. The Japanese passengers next to me started jabbering something. And then the bottom of the plane fell out again.
I was really hoping to have gone on a rollercoaster ride sometime during our Vegas trip, but it looks like I got a free ride right then on the plane. The bucking of the plane continued as the pilots fought the turbulence and made descents to a lower altitude. Ice cubes and liquid from half-drunk cups went every which way. The cabin seemed to yaw, twist, and stretch itself in unnatural ways as our belts dug deep into our laps. If I wasn't buckled down I'm pretty sure I would have been able to touch the cabin ceiling at least once.
When the plane stabilized the aisles and seatback trays were a mess. I'm sure a lot of people reached for their airsick bags. (The faint stench of bile wafted through the air.) After I waited a few minutes when the plane seemed to be pretty stable I unbuckled then made my way back to my own seat a few rows ahead. One stewardess screamed, "get in your seat!" Like, duh! I don't think she knew I wasn't in my original seat and had been on my way back from the restroom---I had only been borrowing a seat elsewhere in the cabin. Anyways, I strapped in tight into my own seat and went back to reading an e-book on my Palm Pilot. This guy sitting next to me and I joked about the ride and some other stuff for a while before we landed. Safely.
On solid ground we deplaned and into the terminals we went. I went following the signs for baggage, ground transportation, parking lot shuttles, exit, ah! And there was the guy who had sat next to me. We both stood on the curbside puzzled where the bus going to parking was---I asked a security officer. So, there we were, two strangers walking to the same bus terminal, chatting. We found out we actually parked in the same section of the lot too, so we got to ride out for the next like 10 minutes before our final stop.
He was of the intelligent semi-cool nerd type, mid-30s, yuppie. He lives in a nearby town doing biomed stuff, me a glorified Web monkey. He was also in Vegas for exactly the same reason---accompanying another friend for the weekend before our respective partners went to the convention. So, we had a lot to talk about in terms of our trips and our disgruntled views of the unsociable, overpriced, hectic Silicon Valley life. And then we parted going to our cars...
And that was my weekend. Hectic, loud, hot, expensive, drunken, colorful, tasty, cozy, and fun all at the same time. How was yours?
Wednesday, 2004.05.12:
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I thought it was like a million years away when I first got the date.
Then I sent in my money.
I accepted the medical waver.
But it's getting so close.
And I'm really nervous about it.
It's such an uphill battle.
How much pain will there be?
How fast will I recover?
Is it really worth the struggle?
How am I going to feel when it's all over?
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Of course, I'm referring to the Bay to Breakers 12K. Geez, it's close! I have been running and walking a lot to sort of train up for it for the past few months. I'm really dreading the Hayes Street hill. In recent hill runs I've really been straining to get up any sort of incline, but my strength peters out way too fast. But I know I want to do this and I can do it. I just have to take it nice and easy. When I'm sore and hurting at the finish line I'll look back and grin with accomplishment.
Oh yeah, and SRS is getting close too.
So, speaking of that, flights are booked, work is notified, and I'm starting to put together my List of Things I Need. I'm getting little bits of advice from everyone who has been-there-done-that. And The Date is looming closer. I thought the 100-day marker was a pretty big thing. Now we're approaching the 50-day and I'm getting a little nervous to tell you the truth. I'm hoping surgery will go well. But there's more important things on my mind.
More important, really? More significant than surgery?
Yes, I think so. I mean, SRS is nothing to sort of trivialize, but what's really on my mind is where I'm going with my life long-term. I'm bored at work, I don't feel too much progression with my hobbies, and I'm not getting out there socially. SRS will come and go but the Rest of My Life is out there waiting. Theoretically it has been there all along, just that now that I'm emerging from the transition process it becomes all the more important to really ask what is my game plan for the coming years, decades, etc.
Honestly I think this is a healthy thing. I've never really focused hard on transition and its related things because I know it's not my big goal in life. SRS is an event to me. But it doesn't change who I am. I'm not a medical condition or a surgical site. I'm about trying to be happy and make others happy in the process. That was who I was before, now, and will be after.
Oh, by the way, yesterday's blog was a long one.
Thursday, 2004.05.13:
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Why? I ask you: why?
Do I like have a sign taped to my back saying "in desperate need of spironolactone" or what?! I have become a sort of repository for people who have had orchiectomies or SRS and who have a surplus of spironolactone pills. Every person that has given me this has said to the effect: "oh, well now you won't have to buy anymore spiro." I swear to you, I can think of 3---maybe 4---people who have given me their spironolactone stashes. C... and B... and R... and maybe M...? You know what? I bet you if I kept what everyone else has given me these past couple years I could probably keep an entire football team flaccid for a season. Sheesh.
Actually, that'd be pretty comical. "Hey, want to try these new breath mints? They really give you this calm soothing feeling too!"
In just a few weeks I get to halt spiro too. Hm. Who am I going to give these to?
So, I got work's blessing today. 5 weeks off for SRS and 1 month work-at-home after that. My bosses do have good sides.
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Yes! I'm all caught up on Amberspace e-mail. My apologies once again to everyone for the overdue responses. Life has a way of creeping up on you ... and blitzing your computers ... and taking you to Vegas ... and ... whatever.
Friday, 2004.05.14:
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According to the ASUS manual for my motherboard, if you turn on your computer and you get "Long beeps in an endless loop" then the meaning is "No DRAM installed or detected". Oh no.
Two suggestions have come up recently with my desktop computer: 1) disk drive cable damage, 2) power supply damage, 3) some other problem. I'm actually in favor of saying #2 is quite possibly correct. I do know that our house experiences power fluctuations although I do have a surge protector on the line---yes, I probably should look into a UPS as well. Anyways, a lack of power would explain a myriad of problems. But I want to find some way to test out all the components if I can.
What a bother. All my important info is on that computer and the amount of data I've backed up overwhelms my other computers---restoring a backup is not trivial.
Tuesday, 2004.05.18:
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Went to bed at 7:00p last night because I was just feeling drained most of the way through the day and I ended up sleeping until about 6:00a---not including a couple of interruptions. I was feeling great this morning, though I'm still sore from Sunday.
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So, about Sunday, the Bay to Breakers was fun! (Minus minus the crowds---60,000-or-so people.) Nude runners really don't shock me anymore, nor do the tortillas being thrown about. The costumes are always fun to look at. (One has to wonder how they managed to push the tequila float all the way up the Hayes St. hill!)
I had one and only one goal: once I start running I shall not stop. I know I'm a total wuss these days on multiple levels, so just being able to finish a race to me is a big thing. But I did it. In spite of trying to dodge all those people I was able to get to the finish line without technically walking. Of course it took me about 1:12:00 to do it. My next goal will be getting back down to a decent pace. I'd love to be down to a 7-minute-mile. Maybe next summer I can retrain for it.
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Totally changing the subject, be sure if you're going to transition and you have patents in the works that you let your laywers know early. Man, this is such a pain in the butt trying to send name change forms back and forth. Plus I think I'm still getting that "huh?" effect from people understanding what the name change is all about. For instance, this lawyer tells me that I need to fax some name change forms I used over to him---he probably thought I got married or divorced. So I fax it to him and then I get this call back where I sense he's sorta laughing on the phone, "um, Amber, uh, hm, this isn't going to do it. I think we're going to need to send you an affadavit..." Well, of course, I don't know what he had been told before beyond I needed to update my name on the documentation they had. Heh.
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Oh, I'm also starting to make a packing list for my SRS. It's still in the works, so there's stuff missing...
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Must...contain...sarcastic...comment...can't...hold...back...aaa!
Well, did you hear what Kristian Mineau of the Massachusetts Family Institute said on May 17, 2004:
Just because it has been ruled legal does not make same sex marriage right or healthy for society at large. ... Traditional marriage is the foundation of our society. It is the proven best way to raise healthy, stable children for future generations. Homosexuals have the right to live any way they choose, but they do not have the right to redefine marriage for the rest of society.Because, of course, the amounts of divorce, spousal abuse, child neglect, and general instability of today's heterosexual marriages are the role models for all couples out there. I see it so clearly now! Also, we absolutely shouldn't allow those hell-bound homosexuals to marry because then they would be subject to the same legal responsibilities as heterosexual couples. And what about encouraging monogamy? Feh! Instead we want homos to run amok and be able to change partners whenever they feel like it---they all do that anyways, right? So down with gay marriage I say! Down!
(Oh, my head hurts.)
Thursday, 2004.05.20:
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You would think with gas prices being so high I'd actually conserve on the gasoline. But nooooo... No, instead I've been driving a lot all over town getting things done or seeing people. At this rate I'll hit 13K miles before month's end---that makes an average of over 14K miles a year. Sure this may not seem like a lot to those of you that commute, but consider that I really only live about 6 miles from work. All that other mileage is from visiting people. That has also amounted to me staying up way too late and really feeling like crap the next day. But I've been really productive...
Trip preprations are finally coming together for SRS. It's freaky because it really is getting so close. Being the nerd I am, I added a little section to my start-up web page (personal web page) that tells me how many days before SRS I have left. I added other milestones including when I need to cease HRT. Fortunately I think I'll be able to continue taking spironolactone up until the very last so that will help stave off some of the effects of lack of estrogen.
Speaking of SRS, it is interesting explaining my impending absence to people. I have a lot of PTO (paid time off, paid leave) saved up so I'm telling people I'm going to take a little mental break this summer. Travel to see some friends. Lay around doing nothing. Maybe writing some music somewhere warm. Hehe... All of this is true. Of course I didn't mention I'm going to be freaking out and drugged up part of that time. No, I think I'll just keep up the white lie that I need a change of pace for a while.
Played cards with Kara and Claire recently. Learned a couple new games---Cho di dai and Oh hell (group solitaire)? I guess when you're bored and not wanting to spend a lot of money some of the simple home games are pretty good.
Had a nice little dinner with Steve-o at this really small yet posh restaurant. The waitstaff was totally nice and the dining experience good. I ended up with some kind of veal in a cabernet sauce accented with bits of dried fruit; Steve with the ostrich medallions. There was this risotto dish that was totally yummers. But, but, but, the tower of chocolate on a plate of raspberries really made it worthwhile. I love food. Mmm...
Friday, 2004.05.21:
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On a whim I ended up at Yoshi's, a Japanese style restaurant/jazz club. It was one of those things where I was just browsing around looking for places for dinner and it was like: huh, I've always wanted to go to Yoshi's... So we checked it out and Lee Ritenour was playing! Cool! (He's a jazz guitarist, if you didn't know.)
If you eat at the restaurant you also get to have reserved seating in the club---something I highly recommend. We were seated closer to the keyboardist but still had a really good view of the other band members. Man, they rock. The whole ensemble worked together like a, hm, plaid mini skirt? (Multifaceted, full of texture, warm, full-bodied, and tight. Really tight.) Well, if you're a jazz fan I'm sure you'll like him. They're there until May 23rd!
I'm looking forward to seeing if I can catch a few more shows up at that place. A few of my fav artists are coming by there soon!
I got bored this afternoon so I whipped out the old electric guitar. Since no one was home I turned up the amp, dialed in crunchy distortion, and tried mucking around with some power chords on a new song I'm fiddling with. Actually, it sounds pretty good. I'm going to have to do a cleaner recording of the guitar and layer it with percussion and all that.
Saturday, 2004.05.22:
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My fingers and wrist are totally killing me. I ended up picking up the guitar again on a whim and strummed out a few chords. Then I figured, hey, what if I just threw together a couple of layers, drums, and basic baseline? Hm. Well, I ended up hacking away at it for a few hours and ended up recording the first pass at a song. Here's the front part of it:
Untitled Sample. (0:47)This was an interesting experiment. The rhythm guitar was recorded from my amp mic'ed, the lead was recorded directly from my stomp box to my PC. The amp'ed channel definitely has more warmth from it; the effects box tends to make things extra crispy crunchy.
Listen: MP3 (1.1 MB)
Sunday, 2004.05.23:
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Bloggers are great for venting. So vent I shall.
OK, the day after I submitted my taxes electronically (way way back in mid-April) I fired up my computer. That was the day I heard what I shall call The Beep of Death. I clearly remember that morning. Turn computer on, turn monitor on, turn speakers on, walk to bathroom, start brushing teeth ... BEEP! Yeah, well, these past 5 or so weeks I've been trying to figure out what really went wrong. At first I thought it was the hard disks. Nope, no errors. I swapped drives around and that took forever to copy all my data between my two working drives---we're talking about 50 GB of data to move. I even went out and bought a new one. (Yay, now I have 400 GB storage? Trust me I'll use it.) After many reinstalls that kept mysteriously dying someone suggested it might be my IDE cables. I swapped those to no avail. So I unplugged all of the drives, my CD, my floppy, etc. There was literally nothing connected in the case except for the motherboard. Still it went beep. Then the memory started failing. I became very familiar with the beep-beep-beep-beep... So, I figured that left me with three possible places of error:
- motherboard
- memory
- power supply
Tuesday, 2004.05.25:
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Ooo...the laptop I want is going to take a little while to get here. I'm looking at this cool little S6210 from Fujitsu now---I had been eyeing the S5010D. The battery life isn't as good as I want but it's still quite respectable. Of course this is going to be an expensive toy. I just hope it'll let me do music and photo editing on the go.
Speaking of expensive I just opened my cellular bill today. OW!!! Through my recent conversations with friends I exceeded my monthly weekday minutes allotment and racked up an additional $60. Add that to the base cost of my shared plan ($80) and you have a $140 bill. Aw, crap. I keep thinking I should increase my minutes plan but it's normally pretty sufficient. It's just that I've had a number of long conversations with friends---wow, long-distance friendships are expensive. I need to be more judicious about how/when to call.
(Oh, and this doesn't count the apparent $600 cost of that little Vegas jaunt. I need a higher-paying job.)
By the way, did you read Tuck #104? OMG. I know it's fiction, but still...! OKOK, go read read now now.
I've been playing around more with my guitar and realizing I really need lessons. I know what I want to do but I don't know the physical technique for it. Argh, frustrating!
Wednesday, 2004.05.26:
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I've been talking to this other girl via IM and we've been talking most the time in Spanish. It's interesting because both of us are from Asian descent---she speaks Spanish natively because she grew up in South America, I learned Spanish in school. For some reason I don't think of Asians as speaking that language but I know there are a lot who do. She showed me this web site for a Japanese school from down there too---it was Japanese instruction for Spanish-speakers.
I was out with my roomie and we were going over the differences between people from Mexico and other countries. I think it's funny that people in that region refer to their language as español whereas people from Argentina use castellano. Technically, it's all the same except for the accent and some regional phrases.
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Tried a facial mask last night. Actually, two---left side was one, right side was another. A friend is trying to hawk her cosmetics products so she gave me a couple of samples. I may get one of them.
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Went out with this guy I've known for a while. He's kind of an ass at times (he admits it too), but he's got a real sweet side under all those layes of grunge. Anyways, so the evening turned out different than what I expected. We had originally planned to go out for dinner. We ended up doing that as well as walking around, visiting a music shop, and going back to his place. (I know what you're thinking and, no, it's not that kind of thing.) We had gotten into topics of music mixing and so I was showing him my digital studio. He was pretty overwhelmed by it---but it's what he wants. Stayed at his house way too late and I'm paying the price for it now because of the lack of sleep.
Thursday, 2004.05.27:
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...Oh, if you haven't seen this definitely needs to be seen.
Oh Yes Wyoming!
With the cabins and the camping and the bakin' beans
Oh Yes I'm Glowing!
With the bison and the banjos and the wily racoons
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Friday, 2004.05.28:
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Oh. This. Just. Blows. Last night my computer went kablooey again and while I was installing it fresh too! Now the last thing I remember doing was setting the performance to background processes and caching things. And then I started getting "delayed write failed" errors. Well, well, well ... I should have scoured the Net before going out and buying hard drives and power supplies---wait, I take that back, because I did need the storage. Anyways I found out if you have:
- Windows XP
- ATi Radeon graphics card
Windows was unable to save all the data for the file C:\$Mft. The data has been lost. The error may be caused by a failure of your computer hardware or network connection. Please try to save the file elsewhere.What's funny is that my system had been running fine literally for months and I think it was right around mid-April when I refreshed my ATi Radeon Catalyst drivers. And that may have been it. I really hope this problem gets back to Microsoft and ATi support because it has killed my computer, my data, and my morale in the past couple months. And now I have an extra power supply. Grr!
So let's see now: a dozen or so successful restarts, upgraded drivers, patched operating system ... this is the longest it has been stable in like 2 months. Wow. I just hope it stays this way a little longer so I can get back to writing music and drawing...
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But as always with this blog, it's about "balance". So for your humor link for the day go read the 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.
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Entries may show the mood for the day. From best to worst moods here's the list:
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Ecstatic -
Happy -
Good -
OK -
Blech -
Sad -
Abysmal
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