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Other recommended blogs: Amy, Calpernia, Claire, Gwen, Kara, Reise, W3bgrl-Auntie Solder.
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Wednesday, 2006.06.28:
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This summer is turning out to be really interesting. I let life get in the way of keeping up with friends and family but I've since changed my priorities. I have been going different places and seeing all sorts of people. It feels really good reconnecting with everyone, including people I didn't know I might speak to again.
When I transitioned I thought I would lose my parents in the process but it seems we might be working things out. However, I did pretty much lose my extended family because my parents were/are afraid to bring up my circumstances. (In our families everyone smiles and keeps our problems to ourselves.) But this changed tonight.
My cousin Becky is getting married in a month or so this summer. I only really found this out through my parents who eventually handed me a wedding invitation written out to my old name. See, my parents have just been telling the family that I'm doing fine and I'm busy with work. So as far as everyone is concerned, the Boy Me is still running around although he never shows up at any family function anymore. But wouldn't it be really rude if I didn't at least reply to the wedding invitation?
Cousin Becky is a cool person. I haven't gotten to know her very well because we live a thousand or so miles apart, but I have fond memories. I haven't talked to her in probably 10 years even though she regularly talks with my brother. And of course even he keeps up the deception that the Boy Me is fine and well. Becky, being the persistent person she is, finally told my brother to give her e-mail address to me.
Meanwhile, I have been talking with Mom and Dad about breaking the news to the extended family at some point. While they are still against that idea, I did get my Mom to budge a little. After all, I still need to reply to that wedding invite.
I created a new e-mail address and chat account, and after a few weeks of talking I caved in tonight. She had been asking me for a picture or two for quite a while...and of course I always said I didn't have one on me. (I lied.)
Well finally tonight I figured it was time to drop the bomb. As far as she knew I was still my old Boy Self and I was heterosexual. In the middle of the conversation it went like this (it's a bit long but it's funny):
Boy Name Me: Hi you.About this time I'm thinking "well, I guess here we go..." So I searched my hard drive for a pic taken last week which shows me along with a couple other gal pals:
Becky: hi you back
... other stuff ...
I was driving and my friend was like PULL OVER! PULL OVER! SHUT THE ENGINE OFF!!! We were in Eastern Utah then... Well, we felt a little better, though, because we were driving back with another friend too. He stopped with us and calmed us down.
friends are good
Kinda cute too. but oh well.
really? do tell
yeah he's older tho *shrugs*
what's wrong with older men?
Well he's also in Southern California
yeah..annndddd
annnnnnnd that's kinda far away
andddddddddddd
but he'll be passing through the Bay Area soon so we'll meet up again.
anddddddddddd
and?
so how cute is cute?
dorky cute. it's totally funny. his driver's license shows this Backstreet Boy on it, goatee and all, short spikey hair
aren't you supposed to look serious in license pics?
i think you're supposed to look bad in them
I look FABULOUS in mine
haha
scan me a pic of your drivers' license
haha. i can take a pic of it later. it's not great but not bad either
ok, do you get the point where I just want a pic?
haha. I do have one pic from the trip.Oh doesn't she just rock?! And the conversation went on from there. All I can say is that I'm smiling now...
and...
err ... I kinda look different in it.
drunk?
doh. no. Just I don't know ... different? you sure you want to see it?
YUP
Sending file. File transfer complete.
that's me and my hideousness.
um..ok, do you have something to tell me?
We haven't talked in a really long time.
ok...so tell
The pic is from ... about 10 days ago? But "that" happened a few years ago.
ok, explain "that"..how far did you go?
Um, pretty much all the way?
like operation and all?
*nods*
wow. was that difficult to go though?
Um, not really that difficult. More of what felt right, I guess.
nope...you're my cuz...I love you for who you are..dorkiness and all..I want to know everything about you that you want to share
Thanks....you rock... You know, I wasn't really going to say anything... buuuuuuuuttttttt... then I got this rad invitation like a few weeks ago ... and I thought it'd be really rude to not at least talk to you.
yes it WOULD have been rude
I've kinda been absent from family events for like the past 8 years or so.
um..I noticed
even tho my brother showed up for most of them. Oh, but my brother is still my brother. that much is a constant. hahaha....
one Chan cuz isn't enough... I want both of you in my life
awwww ... Well, I'd love to be part of your life.
cool..then agreed.
Well yours and your husband's that is.
yeah..you can have him too. I actually thought you were going to tell me you were gay
Well I *am* living in SF.
EXACTLY. AND you have a lot of female friends. AND you shop.
haha. yeah I do
so you're like what...a size 2?
something like that. I'm compact.
beatch
Thanks, Becks.
Technorati tags: coming out, cousins, transsexual,, MTF.
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Entries may show the mood for the day. From best to worst moods here's the list:
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Ecstatic -
Happy -
Good -
OK -
Blech -
Sad -
Abysmal
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