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Other recommended blogs: Amy, Calpernia, Claire, Gwen, Kara, Reise, W3bgrl-Auntie Solder.
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Tuesday, 2006.08.01:
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I just got back from a trip to see my brother and his new little daughter, only 9 months old now! The Little One is babbling and just starting to walk...and boy does she move fast! I had decided to make the trip to see him this summer because my parents aren't able to. My brother and I don't talk much and I'm trying to change that.
My brother's wife, Jill, is an interesting character. Her mom came out as lesbian when Jill was really young. The mom was an all-out dyke, short hair, leather, and much more---put into the context of the times I think the mom was pretty extreme. But in a sense it was sort of a rebellion against her parents, though that's another story altogether.
Anyways, so Jill has been to many "alternative lifestyle" clubs and events throughout her life. She's been the dyke bars, tranny bars, seen her mom's various friends, and so forth. So Jill considers herself very open-minded and accepting. When we were talking maybe a year ago Jill had said that when I came down to see the family she'd take me out to tranny bars and stuff.
Internally I recoiled a bit.
Really, I have only ever been to one tranny bar, and that is Asia SF ... which is more of a tourist attraction than not. If I really wanted to hit up the "real thing" I'd be going to other ones in the Tenderloin. But, I don't have any motivation to do that. I do still have a lot of trans friends, but the majority are pretty simple folk.
I tried explaining it to Jill that I see the trans world as being of three types:
First you have the gender benders or gender queer where people are just more experimental, part-time, or the whatever-I-am-who-I-am types. Gender identity and sexual identity are pretty fluid.
Then you have the exhibitionists or more glamourous types. Possibly coming from the gay community or more attracted to the newfound power of dressing and absorbing all that womanhood has to offer. Partying with other trans/gay types happens a lot more.
Finally there's the more vanilla ones. Many are stealth or at least semi-stealth, trans issues aren't usually on the radar and most of daily life consists of working, family, and just doing rather ordinary things. I fit more into the latter.
I don't mean to set up a hierarchy---there isn't one---and there isn't any advantage to being in one group or another. But the reason I sort of divide up things mentally this way is to explain things to Jill. She was under the impression that I was very gay, went out to gay clubs, and was generally flamboyant. Um, no. She was very surprised that most of my relationships were with women (boy-girl high school and college romance), that the longest steady relationship was over 5 years with the same girl, and that I didn't travel to L.A.'s Garment District on a regular basis.
Really, I'm about as vanilla as they come. I wake up, get my coffee, go to work, maybe out to dinner with friends, read a book or watch TV, and go to sleep. I shop at the mall, go to concerts, and occassionally hit up a bar with friends when we're tired from the long day. I love travelling and eating, and one of these days hope to have a family of my own. I'll probably send the kids to private or home-school them, and I hope my husband (or partner) is career-oriented and a good communicator. And one of these days when I'm toothless and gray, I hope to play with the grandkids and enjoy sunsets from a beachfront house. That's me. Pretty unglam if you ask me.
Technorati tags: neice, brother, wife, relationships, transsexual,, MTF.
Monday, 2006.08.07:
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Dating is tough. Not in the sense that it doesn't happen, but finding people that you really enjoy their company and want to maybe start something long-term. I'm not the kind of person that likes to get hookups every week and wake up in someone else's bed. Really, that is so not my thing. But I try to get out and about. I've met a few people through friends or other events.
I met a guy about three months ago and we've kept in touch over the summer. We were going to go for a movie this weekend but the timing just didn't work out. So we ended up walking all around this plaza for a while, got a snack, and went back to eat it in the cool afternoon sun. It was really great weather and he's great company. At some point we were feeling hunger for dinner so he knew this like pub a few blocks away. We stumbled into there and chatted endlessly about our travels and what not---both of us have done quite a bit over the summer already. He's a really cool person and we totally click on so many levels.
But I have all of these reservations that keep me from really moving forward.
Namely that I think he's like 7 years younger than me.
I'm not all that concerned about age differences but it would be nice to have someone a little closer to me. So on the one hand I feel like melting into his lap and just purring there. On the other hand, I don't feel like going to the street races and sideshows where everyone is 10 years younger than me. And he's still in Party Mode---I've sort of moved on to Wine Mode. But if I ever want to know how to build a bar or backpack through Europe on a shoestring, I'll definitely call him up. I think he senses that I'm interested but not willing to go much further than friendship.
I sometimes have laid awake in bed at night and wondered if I should just let things go naturally wherever they go. But that's just the Emotional side of me talking. The Logical side then steps into the room and slaps me hard reminding me that he's also kinda unemployed right now, he does act a little too gangsta for my taste, he lives 15 miles away, and he's working odd jobs this summer throughout the country. So, *sigh*.
Technorati tags: Sianna, store, transsexual,, MTF.
Thursday, 2006.08.10:
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I don't usually do this but I'm putting up an ad banner for DYNKE, a store for "pridewear". A few of their t-shirts made their debut at Denver '06 Pride. Anyways, check them out!
Technorati tags: DYNKE, store, pride, pridewear, gay, marriage, transsexual,, MTF.
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Entries may show the mood for the day. From best to worst moods here's the list:
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Ecstatic -
Happy -
Good -
OK -
Blech -
Sad -
Abysmal
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