amberspace

Amberspace: Information resources for transsexual (TS) and transgendered (TG) persons. Follow the journey of Amber, a post-transition MTF TS. Please use a browser which supports style sheets or make sure that JavaScript is enabled. Perhaps upgrade to the latest Internet Explorer, Netscape, or Mozilla?

	amberspace				"Been there. Been that."	Last updated on 2006.08.10.

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going out

Overview
Intro/walking letter
Things that help

Overview

Just for comparison one of my cousins is 5'11". She's got full Chinese ancestry too---you think she's petite? Hah.

I think the point of going out pre-transition is to get some real world experience so you can begin to test the waters. I'm a big fan of assimilation to the point where no one around you knows you're T, but that's me. In order to do that you need to figure out what really works for your body type. Fortunately women come in all shapes and sizes so it's highly likely you'll be able to find something for yourself. Shoes are probably the biggest challenge because almost everything else you can make yourself or tailor a bit.

Intro/walking letter

Just before I went full-time my counselor wrote up a little letter for me that would be helpful in situations where I needed to justify my transition. I brought it with me to lots of places though I've never had to use it yet. You can use this as a template for your therapist.

JANE DOE, PH.D.
1234 CHERRY LN
SUMMERVILLE, CA 98765
450.555.1234 (PH)
450.555.2345 (FAX)

May 6, 2003

Re: Amber Chan
SSN: 987-654-4321
DOB: 12-23-1973

Amber Chan (formerly known as Andy Chan) is a male-to-female transsexual who I have been seeing for gender-related counseling, twice monthly, since November 1998. I diagnosed Amber as meeting the diagnostic criteria of the DSM IV manual for a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder.

Any dressing of Amber in female attire, or the use of female identity cards, is not for fraudulent purposes, but rather is a requirement of the gender program in which she is involved. Amber is required to live for a minimum of one year as a female prior to being eligible for consideration for sex reassignment surgery.

I would urge all those who encounter Amber to realize the magnitude of her life's adjustment, and show her every kindness and courtesy.

Sincerely,
Jane Doe
Jane Doe, Ph.D.

Things that help

I think the things that help the most if you're just going out include:

Clothes. Duh. Wear something appropriate for your age that doesn't show a lot of skin.
Voice. Actually, for the longest while I was getting by just on voice alone.
Hair/brows. Longer hair and manicured brows really really really help. If you don't have long hair, try a baseball cap. It seems to confuse people just enough that if you have an androgynous face that people will gender you female.
Demeanor. Being girlish in demeanor goes a long way to complete the package.

An example of this in usage was that before I went full-time I would be going to work in sweatshirts and jeans. I had long hair which was almost always tied up in a ponytail. I used my guy voice and guy demeanor all of the time. But, for lunch I would sometimes be out with other friends and all I would do is remove the ponytail band, change my voice, and shift my demeanor. Instant girl. Muahaha...