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ramblings |
First Things Last
2002.07.05
Argh.
I was told it'll be months, and truthfully it probably will. I'm hoping that it'll be months. Then why does it seem so soon?
Ow.
It is Day 14 since estradiol was added to my meager regiment and I'm in pain. Actually the pain really began sometime around Day 6 or so, but it has really started to get annoying in the past 72 hours. You guessed it: the chest region is developing. Hundreds of cells being generated each day forming that thick core which will later become breast tissue. Glands forming. And annoying nerves coming alive.
*itch* *itch*
Ow...
Lots of people talk about breasts and how wonderful they are to get. I don't belong to that camp. I find them less significant and they get in the way of, say, squeezing through tight spaces and working under your car---though I've never worked on mine. I say that if I get anything then I'll be happy. Like I've said other places, I'm Asian and I'm likely not to be larger than an A and that's just fine with me. But they are low priority.
What I really want is some hips and help in thinning my waist which has begun building that "tire" just above the navel. I want this because then it will balance out my overall shape and body weight distribution. Clothes look better with hips; you look really unbalanced if you have large breasts with no hips. I know the "hourglass" shape is going to be hard to achieve but that's what I want. And yet these things on my chest are now going off like alarms.
From the looks of it the cores are forming and the areolas are getting more swollen by the day. I have quite a bit of pectoral muscle which used to give me a more dome-like chest shape. Well, that's now starting to give way to more cone-like shapes. Even when flexing the muscles you can see the underlying structures moving but the cone-like additions don't really move or change. They just sort of stick out as if saying to me "nyah, nyah, you can't hide me!" Well, maybe it's not that bad but it's only a matter of time.
*sigh*
Ugh.
I was and am still hoping the order of events will make sure I don't develop much before the end of the year. I really wasn't planning on transitioning fully until next year due to financial and housing arrangements. Plus, there's still some issues to work out with parents, friends, and employment. I don't want to have this to be too noticable even when my chest is bound. If I had the choice, I'd schedule the order of physical development as:
- waist
- hips
- muscles
- face
- breasts
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