Amberspace: Information resources for transsexual (TS) and
transgendered (TG) persons. Follow the journey of Amber,
a post-transition MTF TS.
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I was responding to an e-mail from a reader who is quite a number
of years of life down the road from me. He didn't have the option
of transition in his youth even though GID wracked him. Today he
is a grandfather and reflecting on what it would have been like to
have transitioned early on because GID still affects him quite
deeply. He congratulated me on completing The Surgery and noted
that he would have loved to have resolved GID so many years ago.
I think I can understand his emotions, but I also try to put a
little perspective on the whole thing.
So I've done SRS now. Whoopee. What next? I'm trying to figure
that out. (Well, I have been in the process of doing so but now
the reality is that I have to deal with it in the present tense,
not the future tense.) How do I go about finding a relationship?
Will the guy be comfortable dating an ex-guy? Will I ever have a
family? What about my languishing career? Will I be unemployed?
What happened to my other personal goals?
Transitioning young (or even very young) is a real double-edged
sword. On the one hand you get lots of benefits of likely
being able to assimilate better. On the other hand, you've got
a lifetime to live with your decisions. And GID? Does it go
away? I'm of the opinion it doesn't, and so that means a lifetime
with GID anyways.
Wasn't transition supposed to solve GID? I tend to believe that
transition mitigates rather than removes GID. The
fact that I've lived on both sides of the gender lines is a fact
that will always be with me---hence I don't mind the label of
"transsexual" being applied to me. However, I hope that I won't
be having to fight internal GID battles every day.
From the post-op perspective I think I feel a lot better about my
place in the world now. I think I mostly fit in with society at
large, in spite of a few lingering challenges. But I will not
claim victory until maybe 10 or so years from now. I've never been
worried about the short-term game---anyone with enough money and
determination can do a transition at any age. I'm much more worried
about the long-term. Will I be healthy and relatively happy 10
years from now? I guess this is one question that will answer itself
in time...
