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ramblings |
When the Time Is Ripe
2002.04.12
I came across a set of youth-oriented web sites earlier tonight and it sort of made me feel old. I mean, I'm not that old but I'm definitely over 23. Next I started thinking: did I wait too long?
Well, if I had been more resorceful could I have transitioned earlier? The more I think about it, no. My primary information source was the Internet. But I didn't really have accesd until about late 1994. And even at that point the World Wide Web was just blooming. Get this: I was programming CGIs in C on a Netscape enterprise server back then when Netscape had barely begun to get traction. Anyways, I really don't think all the GBLTQ resources existed back then---I think a lot of them were popping up starting 1997. Given that, I was already on my way out of college and that would not have been a good time to transition.
Why couldn't I have started even earlier? Certainly there were quite a few people who have transitioned even in the 60s and 70s! But those people exhihited stong GID. I've always kept to myself and was always pretty mellow. So I doubt my parents suspected anything. Even if they did, the forces of denial would have been strong. I was a pretty stereotypical Asian kid having been in advanced placement/honors classes, playing the piano, and having small stature---why wouldn't my parents be proud of their son?
Let's suppose I had figured out that I was a tranny back in high school. That might have been a good time. Or maybe not? Transitioning would have possibly sidelined my future. Consider that all throughout high school and college I was very active with extracurricular activities. I did sports (running and swimming) which meant I was training almost all year 'round. I was in a lot of clubs. I've been officers of those clubs. I was in a band with 3 other friends. And out of the 8 years of high school and college I had two steady relationships for 5 of those years. In short: I was too damned busy to even think about gender.
One more scenario: there is no way I think I could have afforded this until I was in my mid-20s. My parents aren't exactly wealthy and my stock options aren't worth enough to even make a dent. So, when I think of the finncial timing, by the time I paid off my college debts and my car loan AND I inally moved out on my own, I was actually just about right.
Sure maybe I could have shaved off a couple years and have gone full-time around 2000. I think, though, that having done it then would have really stressed me out because I would hav had to have reconciled my long term relationship at the time as well as having dealt with my parents and my roommates. Plus, I would have been just in time for the stock market bubble to have burst---and you know that a lot of trannies were conveniently "downsized" when layoffs started happening.
So, if you consider school, money, employment, and my emotional health, I'm not sure I could have done it much faster than this and still have felt good about myself. I guess overall the timing is working out pretty well after all...
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