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ramblings |
Straight as a 2x4
2002.08.11
I think I'm a fairly patient person. I know change doesn't happen overnight. I know that in what I'm doing to myself may not give me the results I want. I am willing to wait for quite a while. But, gosh darn it, some days I wish things would go faster.
And so I must rant.
A friend had a great idea to go for going out tomorrow and she said, "hey, why don't you wear a skirt for a change?" Novel idea, really. I haven't worn one in ages. One of the reasons why is that I have no curves. Nada. Zilch. I'm about as curvy as a 2x4 piece of wood. And this sucks.
Allow me to describe the state of my room right now. I have gone through probably 4 or 5 different skirts and they are now strewn about my room. Various shirts, hangars, and those plastic dry cleaning bags are also in various places. Just moments ago they hung neatly on hangars or folded in my closet but I pulled out them all and went through all the permutations looking for that right look and fit. Alas Lady Luck was not on my side, no.
I pulled out the first skirt and tried it on. I then went through about 5 or so different tops. I found a combination that looked lame, but passable. So I went for the second skirt. Same 5 tops. Next skirt. Same tops and then some more, Next skirt. Next skirt. (You get the idea.) Different belts too. This has gone on for about 1.5 hours.
May I state now that when you have no curves that clothes don't really hang right? It also doesn't help that I still have a lot of chubbiness around my mid-section probably courtesy of typical male fat distribution. This all combines to make for a very frustrating experience.
I understand that I have only been on HRT really for 2 months, that I have more than 20 years of biological conditioning as a male, that I am not watching what I eat (funny, I've dropped to 127 lbs. though), and that I don't do exercises like sit-ups or crunches. You probably should tell me right now that my expectations are too high. You should remind me that most MTF trans don't develop hips or really lose that "tire" that builds up around the abdomen. I know I know I know. But I can dream can't I? Besides, this is my Rambling and you can't do anything about it. Nyah nyah...
In my semi-depressive state I decided to see what other people had to say about this. I found one web page directed at teenage girls doing some Q&A and they said:
Q. All my friends are starting to get a waist and other curves but I still have a straight figure. How can I dress to hide my flat-as-a-board shape?Good advice. I almost always can be found in layered clothing using jackets, vests, and other denim shirts (all worn open in the front) to hide the fact I lack curves. I've also found wearing short shorts works pretty well because people end up concentrating on the abundance of leg skin and not the lack of hip curviness.
A. A straight body is totally normal for a young teen. You’ll get your share of curves in time. In the meantime, avoid the loose and sloppy look. It only adds to the boyish image. Nix the sweat pants and loose T’s except for gym class. With a straight figure, you need to create the optical illusion of curves to look more feminine. Choose clothes with some color and contrast and especially designs with curvy lines. Try a tucked in blouse or a shirt that stops at the waist and a well-fitted pair of flare leg pants, or an A-line or flared skirt out of a material that drapes and moves really well. A short jacket will help avoid the straight vertical line you’re trying to get away from but be careful of proportion. You don’t want to look like your top half is barely there while your legs have the illusion of a spider, or the other way around. And be patient. Your body will become exactly what it’s supposed to be when it’s ready. Enjoy your good health and energy and appreciate the body you have.
Of course these rules don't quite apply too well when wearing skirts. Skirts, IMO, really look better with full hips because they are meant to sort of accentuate and flow. A-line doesn't seem to help me either. *sigh*
I'm going to go and sulk while I put my fresh laundry away. Maybe I should focus on the positive then. My hair is behaving quite well these days though I doubt it'll ever be able to hold a scrunchie or a hair clip---I guess it's just too straight. Funny, just like my hips. *mega sigh*
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