Amberspace: Information resources for transsexual (TS) and
transgendered (TG) persons. Follow the journey of Amber,
a post-transition MTF TS.
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Thoughts About Being Trans and Homeless
2005.07.09
Following a link from
Jay Sennett'sblog,
here's article by Lissa Harris about being
an MTF trans and being homeless.
I used to fear this a lot before I began my transition period, and I still do. I mean
I hope it won't happen to me or anyone I know, but I've known more than one
person who has scraped the bottom of the barrel and has come that close to
being homeless.
For most people, you feel almost inclined to say "hey, bum, get a job!", right?
As if it's just a question of personal motivation. But let's consider the trans
angle of this, k?
Being trans immediately means you sort of look funny to other people.
Regardless of the fact that men and women come in all sizes, the fact
remains that (but for a select few) trans people aren't "normal" shaped
or sounding.
Really. If you're MTF you're often larger than your female counterparts
in most every way which also translates into difficulty in finding
appropriate clothes to wear. Add to the that the whole voice thing and
it's hard. In the reverse direction, if you're FTM you're likely smaller
than your male counterparts and you may be either carrying over some
"girly" mannerisms or so more aggressive mannerisms. (Yes, I'm sort of
using stereotypes here, but this info is based off people I actually
have physically shaken hands with.)
Let's not forget that there's a whole mental struggle going on. You're
sorting out your brain, you're changing your perspective on how you
interact with the public at large, you're on high levels of hormones,
you're probably going through a break-up with your spouse/partner,
you may be having stress at work, etc. I mean, this is a lot to bear!
And there's all the insecurities you're fighting. And like you have to
just "get a job"? Right then!
So you finally summon the courage to go for a job interview. You know
you're awkward. They know you're awkward. Somehow things don't quite
mesh and you're not "their (wo)man for the job". You try again somewhere
else. Every rejection stings a little more. Savings run low. Depression
sinks in (if it didn't already when you started transition). You still
have hormones to buy---because if you didn't it'd send you into an
emotional tailspin more violent than you're already in.
It seems like a neverending spiral...
Until either you get a lucky break or someone takes you in so you can
calm down and think things through. I believe that in the cases of the
people I know who have had these difficulties, their lives finally turned
around for the better but only after a couple years of struggle.
Some people have likened transitioning to be like turning a large ship
around. I'd correct that analogy by saying it's like trying to turn
around a battle-weary aircraft carrier in a narrow strait and all the while
dozens of boats pass you by without helping you. Oh, more than that, some
of those boats are making fun of you and your problems. A few friends
try to help you, but you're also fighting a strong current.
Maybe this is why the only people that really understand trans are the
ones who have been through this process. It would be nice if there was
a social program (government supported) that provided a haven for those
in transition to reposition their lives, gain confidence, and get back
out there in the choppy waters of the world. If I ever become a mega
bazillionaire, sure maybe I'd like to do that...
